Embracing Myself: Beyond the Quest for a "Perfect" Body
In a world where the pressure to look a certain way is constantly reinforced, I found myself trapped in the pursuit of a skinnier body, thinking it was the key to self-love and confidence. However, as I embarked on this journey, I soon realised that true self-acceptance goes beyond physical appearances. In this blog post, I want to share my personal experience of breaking free from the shackles of societal beauty standards and discovering the immense power of self-love, irrespective of my body size.
The Pursuit of a Skinnier Body:
For the longest time, I believed that my self-worth was tied to the number on the scale and the amount of fat on my body. I thought that if I could just lose the excess weight, I would finally be able to love and accept myself fully. I also strongly believed that I will be more loved by others and more successful in my personal and professional life if I was lean and ‘toned’. I yearned for a "perfect" body, convinced that it would bring me the confidence and happiness I so desperately sought. I truly believed that being lean was my ‘happy ever after’. I actually used to dreamed of running into the sunset on a beach wearing a tiny bikini looking lean AF before falling asleep most nights.
The Revelation of True Self-Love:
As I embarked on my journey for a leaner physique, I found myself trapped in a cycle of unhappiness and constant body checking, desperate to see any signs of progress. Fitness felt like a burdensome chore, and I dreaded going to the gym. Thankfully, I had a friend who was a dedicated "gym freak," and tagging along with her became my lifeline to not miss training sessions. However, when she wasn't available, I struggled to muster the motivation to go on my own. The gym was intimidating without her guidance, and I found myself sticking to monotonous hours of cardio, unsure of what else to do.
It wasn't until I returned from a transformative six-month study exchange in Australia that I started going to the gym alone and began to develop a genuine interest in training. Yet, even with this newfound enthusiasm, there were deeper underlying issues that remained unaddressed. After completing an extreme four-week shred challenge at the end of 2018 I embarked on another journey to mend my relationship with food to overcome my cravings and binge eating problems, and I started questioning the foundation of my self-esteem. I realised that my self-esteem was still rooted in something fragile – my ever-changing physical appearance.
During a period of deep introspection, a profound realisation struck me like lightning – if I couldn't love and accept myself with extra fat on my body, I wouldn't be capable of truly loving myself even after achieving my desired weight loss. I came to understand that seeking love and validation based on my appearance was conditional and fleeting, and it was not the kind of love I deserved.
Through this eye-opening journey, I learned that self-love should not be anchored in external changes or superficial ideals. It had to be an unconditional and unwavering embrace of myself – flaws and all. This understanding set me on a path to transform my relationship with my body and cultivate genuine self-acceptance, regardless of the ups and downs of my physical appearance. As I let go of the unrealistic expectations and societal pressures, I discovered the liberating power of self-love that came from within. My journey taught me that genuine confidence and contentment are rooted in self-acceptance, self-compassion, and an appreciation for my body's strength and capabilities.
Breaking Free from Unrealistic Standards:
As I used to look at other big and tall women, I couldn't help but admire their beauty and unshakable confidence. It struck me as paradoxical that I could find beauty in them, yet struggle to extend the same kindness and acceptance to myself. However, this very realisation became a pivotal turning point in my journey towards self-acceptance. I made a conscious decision to liberate myself from the suffocating chains of society's unrealistic beauty standards. I resolved to embrace my uniqueness and appreciate the beauty that resided within me. If I could recognise beauty in other women, it only stood to reason that I possessed beauty within myself too.
This newfound perspective sparked a profound shift in the way I perceived myself and my body. Instead of nitpicking my perceived flaws, I began to celebrate the uniqueness that made me who I am. I started to see my body as a canvas, telling a story of resilience, strength, and personal growth. In moments of self-doubt, I reminded myself that my journey was not about achieving a specific physical appearance but about discovering and honouring my true essence. I stopped comparing myself to unrealistic ideals and started nurturing a compassionate relationship with my body. The path towards self-acceptance was not without challenges. It required moments of self-reflection, patience, and self-compassion. I learned to silence the inner critic and replaced it with an empowering voice that spoke of self-love and worthiness.
As I allowed myself to embrace my unique beauty, I discovered that confidence radiated from self-acceptance. My interactions with others became more genuine, and I formed deeper connections with people who appreciated me for who I truly was, beyond my physical appearance. Through this transformative journey, I learned that beauty is not confined to a certain size or shape. It is a multifaceted gem that shines from within, radiating through our actions, words, and the love we offer ourselves and others. Today I no longer seek validation from external sources, for I know that my worth comes from a place of unshakable self-acceptance. My body is not just a vessel; it is a source of strength, resilience, and beauty that deserves to be cherished.
Choosing to Love the Journey:
As I embarked on my journey towards a healthier and more fulfilling lifestyle, I became acutely aware of the need to shift my focus away from the narrow and superficial goals of weight loss and body measurements. I realised that fixating on an arbitrary number on the scale was not the path to genuine happiness and self-acceptance. It was time for a transformation from the inside out. With this newfound perspective, I made a conscious decision to prioritise how my body felt and functioned over its mere appearance. I understood that true wellness encompassed not just physical aspects but also emotional and mental well-being. So, I began to shift my fitness goals towards training for a more profound purpose.
I no longer saw exercise as a means to achieve a specific body size; instead, it became a journey of self-discovery and empowerment. I aimed to feel good, strong, and healthy, both physically and mentally. Each workout session became an opportunity to challenge my limits, push my boundaries, and discover the incredible capabilities of my body. As I focused on cultivating a positive and nurturing relationship with my body, I noticed a profound shift in my overall well-being. My mental clarity improved, and I felt more energised and motivated throughout the day. I no longer dreaded workouts, for they had transformed into empowering moments of self-empowerment and growth. Moreover, this shift in perspective extended beyond the gym. I began to appreciate the little things that brought joy and balance to my life which contributed to a deeper sense of contentment and fulfilment.
The Liberating Transformation:
As I gradually let go of the suffocating obsession with my weight and appearance, a tremendous sense of liberation washed over me. It was as if a heavy burden had been lifted from my shoulders, and I finally felt free to embrace life without being constantly preoccupied with superficial standards. It was time to embark on a journey of self-discovery and self-love, and I was determined to make every step count. One of the first significant changes I made was in my relationship with food. I chose to nourish my body with wholesome and nutritious foods, free from the confines of restrictive diets and calorie-counting. Instead of viewing certain foods as forbidden or "bad," I allowed myself to enjoy a balanced and intuitive approach to eating. This newfound freedom not only improved my physical health but also nurtured a positive mindset around food. Gone were the days of feeling guilty after indulging in a treat or punishing myself for "slip-ups." I learned to savor every bite, appreciating the pleasure that food brought to my life. This shift in mindset transformed my relationship with eating and allowed me to truly savor each meal as a celebration of nourishment and enjoyment.
In parallel with my evolving relationship with food, I explored other physical activities. I discovered the joy of dancing, that allowed me to express my emotions through movement. I also immersed myself in nature, going on walks that connected me with the world around me. Through these activities, I felt a sense of grounding and alignment with my body and soul. The more I embraced this healthier approach to fitness, the less I cared about fitting into society's narrow definition of beauty.
Embracing Body Positivity:
As my journey towards self-acceptance continued, I found myself undergoing a profound shift in the way I perceived my body. No longer did I view it as something that needed to be fixed or altered to fit into society's narrow beauty standards. Instead, I began to see my body as an incredible vessel that allowed me to experience life in all its vibrant colours and textures. I started to appreciate my body's resilience and strength, recognising that it had carried me through life's challenges and triumphs with unwavering determination. From the smallest victories to the greatest achievements, my body had been my constant companion, supporting me every step of the way.
This newfound appreciation for my body led me to celebrate its capabilities rather than fixate on its perceived flaws. I started to marvel at the things my body could do – the way it moved, the strength it displayed during workouts, and the pleasure it experienced in the simplest of activities. With each new accomplishment, whether it was lifting a heavier weight or achieving a more flexibility in my stretches, I felt a surge of empowerment. I learned that my body was not merely a reflection of my physical appearance but a manifestation of the strength and resilience that lay within me.
Embracing body positivity opened up a world of freedom and self-expression. I started dressing as I pleased, as I always dreamed of, choosing clothing that made me feel comfortable and confident. I found joy in wearing clothes that I previously would not allowed myself to wear such as cute colourful gym bras, crop tops and leggings and eventually shorts. My confidence radiated from within, and it was no longer dependent on what others thought of me or my appearance. With each passing day, I continued to learn and grow in my appreciation for my body and all that it allowed me to experience. I had unlocked a wellspring of self-love that nourished every aspect of my being. My mindset had shifted from seeking external validation to finding validation within myself – a validation that came from embracing my true self and celebrating every aspect of who I was.
A Message of Hope:
My journey towards self-love and body acceptance is ongoing, and it has taught me that it's possible for us all to find contentment and confidence within ourselves. If you, too, find yourself trapped in the pursuit of a "perfect" body, I want to tell you that you have the power to break free. Embrace your uniqueness, focus on feeling good from within, and practice self-compassion. The road to self-love is paved with small steps, and each one is worth celebrating.
My experience has shown me that true self-love transcends physical appearances. It's about accepting ourselves wholeheartedly, embracing our uniqueness, and recognising our inherent worth, regardless of societal beauty standards. Let this blog post be a reminder that you are deserving of unconditional love, just as you are. Embrace your journey towards self-acceptance, and know that you are enough – always and forever. The power to love yourself lies within you, waiting to be unleashed.
Please feel free to reach out if you feel like I can help you in your own journey.